- Me: Guess what I did this morning that usually makes me cry? But it didn't make me cry!
- Mom: Weigh yourself?
- Me: No...but close!!
- Mom: Try on pants that should fit and didn't before and now fit again?
- Me: No...closer...
- Mom: DID YOU TRY ON BATHING SUITS?!?
- Me: YESSSS! AND I DIDN'T EVEN CRY!
- Mom: Wow! I thought I'd never see the day...
- Me: You know I really don't want to study when I'm avoiding it by trying on bathing suits...
- Mom: Wow, yea, that is bad. But I'm proud of you!
- Hahahahaha. My mom knows me too well, and she's pretty awesome! And that's right folks it took me until 26 to not be traumatized by staring at myself in the mirror in a bathing suit. It feels good to accept yourself!
Angelina Jolie had a double mastectomy, in case you hadn’t heard. How dare she remove those ticking time bombs from her chest, amiright? Like, hasn’t she learned by now that her body is public domain and we all get to vote on what she does with it? Sheesh, how selfish can ya get.
Every. Freaking. Morning.
I need a kick in the butt. I did my whole 30, lost 10 lbs. Then I decided no gluten, no dairy. Which I’ve kept up. But I’m having this weird control issue. One day I’ll eat perfectly, and eat like 1200 calories, and the next, I don’t even want to think about how much I eat. I hate that I do this to myself. Since my whole 30 I’ve lost about another 5 lbs, give or take, depending on how good I’ve been that day. I have like another 35 lbs to go. I need to stop doing this to myself. I know why I’m doing it, it’s because I can, and I feel like I don’t have control of other parts of my life. And yes I will openly admit I have battled with disordered eating my entire life, SO FRUSTRATING. I thought I’d figured it out with the whole30, but it’s just so much work to make that food, and prepare. It’s exhausting, I’m exhausted. I’m exhausted with myself.
My family likes to ask me this question about 1-2 times a year. Kill me now.